This is a good question and requires a separate and detailed exploration that befits the implications of this understanding.
I would say:
Firstly, in linguistic terms, ‘nafaqah’ (alimony) is derived from ‘infaaq,’ which originally signifies disbursement and depletion, and the term ‘infaaq’ is generally used in the context of benevolence.
As for ‘nafaqah’ in Islamic jurisprudence, it refers to the obligation of the provider to suffice and maintain the dependents in terms of food, drink, shelter, and clothing.
Secondly, Islamic law mandates that the husband is responsible for providing ‘nafaqah’ to his wife. However, scholars differ on when this obligation becomes incumbent:
The Hanafi scholars assert that the obligation of providing ‘nafaqah’ arises immediately upon the marriage contract. On the other hand, the majority opinion among the Maliki, Shafi’i, and Hanbali schools is that the obligation of ‘nafaqah’ is established upon consummation of the marriage or when the wife starts living with the husband.
Thirdly, scholars have stipulated conditions for the obligation of providing ‘nafaqah’ to the wife. We can summarize these conditions as follows:
– The marriage contract must be valid. If the marriage contract is void or invalid, and the husband provided ‘nafaqah’ to the wife, then upon the discovery of the contract’s invalidity, the husband has the right to reclaim what he spent.
– To be a wife who is sexually available for intercourse, whether with her husband or with others, does not require a specific age, but rather is determined based on the wife’s condition. She may be young and robust and can endure, or she may be older and frail and unable to endure.
– To willingly submit herself, and if not, she would be nashiz (rebellious). If she is nashiz, then she is not entitled to ‘nafaqah’.
– Do not engage in actions that lead to the prohibition of kinship through marriage.
– To remain within Islam after marriage contract; if she departs from Islam, then there is no ‘nafaqah’ for her.
Fourthly: Providing is an obligation upon manaccording to his ability and in accordance with his means. Allah, the Almighty, says: ‘Let him who has abundance spend out of his abundance.’ [At-Talaq, 65:7].”
– And for Allah’s saying, exalted is He: ‘Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.’ [An-Nisa’, 4:34].”
– For the hadith of Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) in the context of the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) sermon during Hajj, it includes: ‘And they have rights over you in terms of their provision and clothing according to what is customary.’ [Narrated by Muslim].”
– For the hadith of Jabir: “If someone has extra, it is for his family.” [Narrated by Muslim].
– For the hadith of Aisha: “Take what is sufficient for you and your child according to what is customary.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhari].
Fifthly: It is not permissible for a man to take from a woman’s private property without her consent. This includes her inheritance money, her pre-marriage trade, and the dowry money. Allah, the Almighty, says: “And you have given one of them a great amount [in gifts], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin?” [An-Nisa’, 4:20].
Sixthly: As for the money earned by a woman through her work after marriage, and the claim that it is exclusively hers and not the man’s, this situation has two aspects:
First situation: If it was stipulated in the marriage contract that he allows her to work and he agreed to that, then in this case, it is not permissible for him to prevent her from working unless he has clear evidence of harm or impermissibility in her work, or if her work causes significant harm that makes the marital relationship difficult. Allah, the Almighty, says: “O you who have believed, fulfill [all] contracts.” [Al-Ma’idah, 5:1]. The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said in the narration of Uqba: “The most deserving conditions to be fulfilled are those by means of which intimacy has become permissible for you.” [Reported by Bukhari and Muslim].
In addition, Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Muslims are bound by their conditions.” [Reported by Abu Dawood].
Just as it is not permissible for him to prevent her, it is also not permissible for him to take any of the money she earned without her consent, because he initially accepted this condition from her.
Second situation: If it was not stipulated upon him during the marriage contract.
In this case, she is not allowed to work without his permission. The pure scholars have explicitly mentioned this. Al-Buhuti, a scholar of the Hanbali School, said: “A woman is not allowed to employ herself after the marriage contract has been concluded upon her without the permission of her husband, in order to avoid violating the husband’s right.”
If she works, it is permissible for the husband to stipulate a monthly amount for himself in return for the time she allocates to work.
This opinion aligns with fairness, as it is not reasonable for the man’s earnings from his work to be shared between him and his wife while her earnings from her work during marriage and without any specific agreement are solely her own.
Another principle we rely on is that the customary norm, known as “urf,” is similar to a stipulated condition. What people have commonly accepted in their transactions stands in the place of an explicit condition in terms of commitment and obligation, even if it is not explicitly mentioned.
Applying this principle, if it becomes well-known and established in a certain place that women go to work while contributing a portion of their earnings towards the household without a prior explicit agreement from the husband, there is nothing in Sharia that prohibits the application of this customary norm.
In essence, the customary norm is treated as if it were a stipulated condition.
Therefore, in the previous matter, there is no absolute or general ruling, and the conclusion is as follows:
– Financial support for the wife is obligatory upon the husband based on customary norms.
– It is permissible for a woman to stipulate that her husband let her engages in lawful work, and he should not take anything from her earnings without her consent.
– If she has not stipulated anything, she is not allowed to work without his permission. If he grants her permission, he can stipulate a compensation for the time she dedicates to work.
– The husband is not allowed to take any money from his wife, both before and after marriage, without her permission, for matters in which he has no right.
As for the matter of whether the wife has the right to manage her husband’s money as she wishes, or if he is the one who determines the expenses since he is responsible for the finances and not her?
I say:
Firstly: The marital relationship between a man and a woman is built upon mutual support, integration, and the consideration of rights and responsibilities – or at least, this is how it should be. Allah, the Almighty, says: “And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.” [ Al-Baqarah, 2:228]. The man has well-defined duties, including providing for and taking care of his wife, while the woman is obligated to obey, respect, and safeguard her husband’s property as well as herself.
Secondly: One of the most virtuous acts of obedience for a woman, which sometimes surpasses even obligatory acts of worship, is the obedience to her husband and seeking his satisfaction in all aspects.
I will now mention a portion of the evidence for this from the Prophetic hadiths:
1- Imam Ahmad narrated with an authentic chain of narration from Abdullah bin Abi Awfa that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate to her husband. A woman does not fulfill the whole rights of Allah until she fulfills the whole rights of her husband. Even if he were to ask her for herself while she was on a camel’s back, she should not refuse.”
2- From Mu’adh bin Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “If the woman knew the right of the husband, she would not sit for his meal and his dinner until he finishes.” [Reported by Al-Tabarani in Al-Kabeer].
3- Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: “A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) with his daughter and said, ‘My daughter refuses to get married.’ The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to her, ‘Obey your father.’ She replied, ‘By the One who sent you with the truth, I will not get married until you inform me of the rights of a husband over his wife.’ The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, ‘The rights of a husband over his wife are to the extent that if he has a wound and she licks it, or if his nostrils are filled with pus or blood, she swallows it, she will not fulfill his right.'” [Narrated by Al-Bayhaqi and An-Nasa’i].
4- Imam Ahmad narrated with its chain of transmission from Huthayn ibn Mihsan (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: “My aunt narrated to me that she came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) with a need, and he said, ‘Who is this? The wife of someone?’ She said, ‘Yes.’ He asked, ‘How do you treat him?’ She said, ‘I do not fail to do what he needs, except what I am unable to do.’ The Prophet (peace be upon him) then said, ‘Look at where you stand with regard to him, for indeed he is your Paradise and your Hellfire.'”
5- He (peace be upon him), also said: “Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise.” [Reported by Tirmidhi who said: A good hadith].
6- In a statement attributed to Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), she used to say: “O assembly of women, if you knew the rights that your husbands have over you, every one of you would wipe the dust from her husband’s face with a part of her face.”
In another narration: “She would wipe the dust from her husband’s feet with a part of her face.” [Reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah].
Moreover, there are numerous other hadiths in the books of Sunnah that address this topic. We can refer to this subject in the book “Al-Targhib wa al-Tarhib” by Imam al-Mundhiri, may Allah have mercy upon him.
Thirdly: Once this is understood, a woman should not take from her husband’s money except in two cases:
– When he gives her permission to do so.
– When he is extremely stingy and she takes what is sufficient for her needs based on customary norms.
The evidence for this is as follows:
1- The statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him): “When a woman gives in charity from her house’s food without causing any waste, she will get the reward for what she spent, and her husband will also get the reward for his earnings, and the storekeeper will have a similar reward. None of them will decrease the reward of the others.” In another narration: “From her husband’s food.” In another narration: “And a woman does not fast (voluntary fasting) while her husband is present except with his permission, nor should she allow anyone to enter his house while he is present except with his permission, and whatever she spends of his earnings without his order, then half of his reward is for her.” This hadith has been agreed upon in meaning by scholars.
2- From Abdullah bin Umar, may Allah be pleased with them both, that he heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, saying: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The imam is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is a shepherd over his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is a shepherd in her husband’s house and is responsible for her flock. The servant is a shepherd over his master’s property and is responsible for his flock.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
3- And what Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others narrated from the hadith of Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, that she said: Hind bint Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyan, entered upon the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and said, “Abu Sufyan is a stingy man. He does not give me enough for myself and my children except what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Do I have any right to that?” The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said, “Take from his wealth what is customary and sufficient for you and your children.” In another narration from her: “Abu Sufyan is a stingy man. Do I have the right to take from his wealth secretly?”
4- Narrated by Abu Hurairah, who said: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “The best women among the camel riders are the women of the Quraysh -one of the narrators said: The righteous women of the Quraysh-. They are the most tender and caring towards orphans when they are young, and they are the most considerate of their husbands in matters of their wealth.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Therefore, the financial conditions of a woman with a man are as follows:
1. She can spend from her own money, and he has no right to prevent her.
2. She can access funds from a joint account with his permission, and there is no issue in that.
3. She can use his money if he gives her permission and is content with it.
4. She can take from his money without his knowledge in cases of extreme stinginess, and the criteria for this are defined in the hadith:
– His stinginess should have a noticeable impact on his wife and children.
– She can take what is reasonable (ma’ruf), and what is reasonable is determined by the sufficiency for essential needs.
It is not considered reasonable to take money for non-essential items like accessories or unnecessary clothing.
Other than these cases, it is not permissible in Islamic law.
And Allah knows best.
Fatwa by Dr. Khālid Naṣr