First: It is prohibited to leave a wife in limbo. Allāh Almighty says: “So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging.” [An-Nisā᾽ 4:129]. Allāh Almighty also says: “Retain them in kindness or release them in kindness. Do not retain them to harm them and transgress [against them]. Whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. Do not take the verses of Allāh in jest. Remember the favor of Allāh upon you and what has been revealed to you of the Book and wisdom, by which He instructs you. Fear Allāh and know that Allāh is Knowing of all things.” [Al-Baqarah 2:231].

Second: A woman whose husband abandons her for four months has the right to request the annulment of the marriage contract due to harm. Allāh Almighty says: “For those who swear not to have sexual relations with their wives is a waiting time of four months. But if they return, then indeed, Allāh is Forgiving and Merciful. But if they decide on divorce, then indeed, Allāh is Hearing and Knowing.” [Al-Baqarah 2:226-227].

Regarding the question: Can the mother take from her children’s money to spend on her own needs? If the children are minors and she has custody over them, she is permitted to take from the custody money as needed, based on Allāh’s saying: “Upon the father is the mothers’ provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable.” [Al-Baqarah 2:233], implying that she takes from him the provision for taking care of the children.

If the children are adults, she can take from their money with their permission. Without their permission, scholars have differed on whether the Prophet’s saying “You and your wealth belong to your father” also applies to the mother.

῾Aṭā᾽ ibn Abī Rabāḥ and Az-Zuhrī, and similarly Ibn Ḥazm, held that the mother is like the father in being allowed to take from her child’s wealth without permission. They cite the Prophet’s saying, reported by ῾Amr ibn Shu῾ayb from his father, from his grandfather, that a man came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said, “O Messenger of Allāh, I have wealth and children, and my father consumes my wealth.” The Prophet said: “You and your wealth belong to your father. Your children are among the purest of your earnings, so eat from your children’s earnings.” The phrase “from the purest of your earnings” applies to both parents.

They also cite the statement of Jābir ibn ῾Abdullāh: A father and mother can take from their child’s wealth without permission.

Some scholars, however, believe that the text specifies the father, and if the Prophet (PBUH) had intended it to be general, he would have used “your parents” instead of “your father.”

The correct view is that the text is general, particularly as nowadays the mother may be more in need of her children’s wealth than the father. Furthermore, a certain ḥadīth mentions honoring the mother three times, and financial support is part of honoring. The mention of the father in the aforementioned ḥadīth is a matter of preference, not exclusivity, as the mother is usually provided for by her husband.

Fatwa issued by Dr. Khālid Naṣr