First: The basic ruling on visiting graves, whether for relatives or others, is that it is recommended according to the four major schools of Islamic thought. An-Nawawī in his book ‘Al-Majmū῾‘ quoted Al-῾Abdarī saying it is a unanimously agreed-upon Sunnah. However, this unanimity (᾽ijmā῾) is not entirely accurate as reported by Ibn Baṭṭāl in his explanation of Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī: “Some people disliked visiting graves because it was narrated from the Prophet (peace be upon him) in some ḥadīths that he prohibited it. Ash-Sha῾bī said: Had the Messenger of Allāh (peace be upon him) not prohibited visiting graves, I would have visited my daughter’s grave. ᾽Ibrāhīm an-Nakha῾ī said: They disliked visiting the graves. The same was reported from Ibn Sīrīn.” Ibn Ḥajar also mentioned similar views in ‘Fatḥ al-Bārī,’ saying: “An-Nawawī, following Al-῾Abdarī and Al-Ḥāzimī and others, stated that they agreed on the permissibility of men visiting graves. They stated it in such an absolute sense. However, this statement needs further consideration because Ibn Abī Shaybah and others narrated from Ibn Sīrīn, ᾽Ibrāhīm an-Nakha῾ī, and Ash-Sha῾bī that they disliked it in an absolute sense. Ash-Sha῾bī even said: Had the Prophet (peace be upon him) not prohibited it, I would have visited my daughter’s grave. Perhaps those who made such absolute statement of agreement referred to what became the settled view after these early scholars, as if they might not have been aware of the abrogation of the prohibition. Allāh knows best.”

The majority of scholars base their opinion on several pieces of evidence, including:

• The ḥadīth reported by Muslim from Buraydah, who said: The Messenger of Allāh (peace be upon him) said, “I had prohibited you from visiting graves, but now you should visit them.”
• Another ḥadīth in Muslim narrated by ῾Aā᾽ishah mentions that the Prophet used to visit Al-Baqī῾ at the end of the night. Al-Baqī῾ is a cemetery in Medina.
• The Prophet’s (peace be upon him) request for permission to visit the graves of his parents and being granted permission, as mentioned in a ḥadīth in Muslim.

Second: The purpose of visiting graves is both for reflection and for visiting the deceased and praying for them. The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us the etiquette of visiting graves, which includes:

• Greeting the deceased by Assalām ῾Alaykum, as reported in the ḥadīth by Muslim from Buraydah (may Allāh be pleased with him), who said: The Messenger of Allāh (peace be upon him) taught them to say when they go out to the cemeteries, “Peace be upon you (Assalām ῾Alaykum), inhabitants of the dwellings, believers, and Muslims. We will, God willing, join you. I ask Allāh for well-being for us and for you.”
• Praying for the deceased because it is a form of supplication in their absence. In the ḥadīth: “The supplication of a Muslim for his brother in his absence is accepted. An angel is appointed over him; whenever he prays for his brother’s good, the appointed angel says, ‘Amīn, and for you the same.'” [Narrated by Muslim]. In another ḥadīth narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allāh be pleased with him), the Messenger of Allāh (peace be upon him) said, “When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for him.” [Narrated by Muslim].

Third: The opinions of the Islamic schools of thought regarding women visiting graves vary into three main views:

First: Permissibility, as is the case for men. This is the view of the Ḥanafī scholars, one opinion within the Mālikī and Shāfi῾ī schools, and one narration from ᾽Aḥmad ibn Ḥanbal. They used the same evidence mentioned earlier, arguing that the abrogation applies to both men and women, and the intended reflection is necessary for both.

They also cited the narration reported by Al-Ḥākim and others from ῾Abdullāh ibn Abī Mulaykah, who said that ῾Aā᾽ishah (may Allāh be pleased with her) once returned from visiting a grave. She was asked, “O Mother of the Believers, where have you come from?” She replied, “From the grave of my brother, ῾Abd ar-Raḥmān ibn Abī Bakr.” He asked, “Did the Messenger of Allāh (peace be upon him) not prohibit visiting graves?” She said, “Yes, he did prohibit it, but then he ordered that they be visited.”

Second: Prohibition for women. This is the view of Ibn Taymiyyah and one opinion within the Ḥanafī and Shāfi῾ī schools. They supported their stance with the ḥadīth narrated by Abū Hurayrah: “The Prophet cursed women who visit graves frequently.” [reported by At-Tirmidhī, who graded it as Ḥasan Ṣaḥīḥ (Good, authentic)]. They argued that the abrogation applied only to men, as there is no evidence that the abrogating ruling came later than the abrogated one.

Third: Dislike (makrūh). This is the opinion of the majority, being one view among the Ḥanafīs, Mālikīs, and the established view among the Shāfi῾īs and Ḥanbalīs. Ibn ῾Abd al-Barr reported a consensus, saying: “There is no disagreement about the permissibility of visiting graves for men and its dislike for women,” [Al-᾽Istidhkār]. However, the claim of consensus is weak.

They based their view on the ḥadīth reported by ᾽Anas (may Allāh be pleased with him): “The Prophet (peace be upon him) passed by a woman who was weeping at a grave. He said, ‘Fear Allāh and be patient’.” [reported by Al-Bukhārī and Muslim]. They argued that he did not forbid her but advised her to be patient, indicating dislike rather than prohibition.

Additionally, they cited the narration from Al-Bukhārī and Muslim reported by ᾽Umm ῾Aṭiyyah (may Allāh be pleased with her), who said: “We were forbidden from following the funerals, but it was not made obligatory on us,” implying that the prohibition indicates dislike.

The opinion we favor is that of the Ḥanafī scholars, that visiting graves is permissible for everyone provided that the etiquettes of visiting graves are observed. These etiquettes include refraining from wailing, lamenting, and excessive crying, which apply to both men and women, as well as observing proper attire, which also applies to both genders.

Fatwa issued by Dr. Khālid Naṣr